a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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