I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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