Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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