Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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