If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
