Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
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