New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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