He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
