In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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