if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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