If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
