i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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