Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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