Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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