32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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