I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
