i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
