that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
