Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
