I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
