ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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