And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
