mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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