well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
