so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
