She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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