I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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