Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Found your dick twin last night
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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