there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
