And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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