dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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