Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
