4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
