You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It was like giving head to a cactus.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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