Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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