You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
