you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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