I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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