worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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