Kiss
Puke
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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