i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
