..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
