New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude