In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.