just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
oh god was she eating orange peels again
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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