How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Dear god my vagina.
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