Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
