Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
