Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
be right there i have to get my cape
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
