If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
