i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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