I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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