He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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