last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
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Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
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it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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