Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
