Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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