I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
