I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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