One girl and one boy is just not enough.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
