You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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