he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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